Questions to Ask in the First Meeting for Arranged Marriage
Updated · 8 min read
The biodata got you here – now comes the first meeting. It is normal to feel nervous. Good questions turn an awkward interview into a real conversation and help both of you understand whether to take things forward.
Here are 40+ questions grouped by topic, separate lists for girls and boys, and the questions best left for later.
Before the meeting
- Read their biodata again so you don’t ask what is already written.
- Decide on two or three things that truly matter to you (for example, career after marriage or living with parents).
- Meet in a comfortable place – a café or a family home with some time to talk alone.
Easy ice-breakers
- How was your week – busy at work?
- What do you usually do on weekends?
- What is something you are really enjoying lately – a show, a book, a hobby?
- Which place have you travelled to that you would love to visit again?
- How do your friends describe you?
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Career and work
- What do you enjoy most about your work?
- Where do you see your career in the next five years?
- How do you feel about your partner working – and about relocating for work?
- How do you balance work and personal time?
Family and living arrangements
- Tell me about your family – who are you closest to?
- After marriage, do you see us living with your parents, nearby or independently?
- How are decisions usually made in your family?
- What traditions or festivals are most important in your home?
Lifestyle and values
- Are you an early riser or a night owl?
- What are your food habits – vegetarian, eggetarian, non-vegetarian?
- How do you like to spend money – save first or enjoy now?
- How religious or spiritual are you?
- What does a perfect holiday look like for you?
- How do you handle disagreements?
Future plans
- What does a good marriage look like to you?
- How do you see household responsibilities being shared?
- Have you thought about children and timing?
- Is there a city or country you would like to settle in?
Questions girls can ask
- How do you feel about me continuing my career and studies after marriage?
- What are your family’s expectations from a daughter-in-law?
- How would you support me if there were disagreements with family?
- How do you unwind after a stressful day?
- What qualities are you looking for in a life partner?
Questions boys can ask
- What are you passionate about outside work?
- How do you feel about living with or near my parents?
- What are your expectations from me and my family?
- What would make you feel supported in a marriage?
- Is there anything about me or my biodata you would like to know more about?
Questions to avoid in the first meeting
- Exact salary, savings or property details – let the families discuss these later.
- Past relationships, unless they bring it up.
- Comments on weight, looks or complexion.
- Dowry or gifts in any form – it is illegal and disrespectful.
- Very personal medical questions – leave them for when you know each other better.
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